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Thursday, July 8, 2010

My dearies,

I really have to apologize for not being able to update my blog for sooo long. I know, sun's coming out and people tend to go out a lot for beach, bbqs...etc. Too bad that I have started my new job and it's kinda killing me right now. Frankly, I like the people, the environment, the job nature (well, it's cosmetics! who wouldn't like it?), and the opportunity to learn. But all of a sudden there are just too many things happening at the same time and everything's urgent. Bosses are not around and I am left to make all these decisions alone, without anybody telling me what is right. I feel kinda lost, while very pressured.

Lately, my home internet is down and I have no time to even check my personal email, not to say seeing my friends, family, and bf. I used to email my bf during office hours, just to keep in touch and cheer each other up. But now, I don't have time to even have a proper lunch. Max. only 10mins for munching and that's it. I'm really afraid that it might be a tough period to go through - work, and relationship. For the first time, I feel from the speaking of him that he's a bit frustrated about my lack-of-time situation. I really wanna spend more time with him but somehow my work commitment is always taking the lead. I want to do everything myself as I don't trust people.

Yes, I did cry a bit for this work/relationship pressure lately. I want to try my very best to work everything out. Especially my bf is heading back to UK for 2 weeks, where he can meet all his good old friends and have a little time to feel 'home'. From my past experience, being away from my bf (vice versa) will wake you up - makes you take time to enjoy yourself while think objectively if you really like/love this person that you're with. I know it's our first hurdle and I seriously hope it'll be ok.

Personally, I don't have a habit of keeping in contact with my ex-bfs as I always think bygones are bygones - esp. when they are the ones who didn't treat me right. One of them messaged me on facebook couple months ago, saying hi and wants to keep in touch, but I just don't want to reply anything as I would like to respect my present bf (whom I'm taking very seriously), and also because that guy was treating me like a dead furniture at home.

I have kept it a big secret as I don't want to bring these 'little things' up... you know, it might be a bit awkward to say anything about your ex(s) to your present bf. But somehow, it makes my heart heavy as I'm always a person who is expecting the others to do the same thing as me. Perhaps, that's the origin of all my daily pressures...

Anyway, enough of my BS and I should have dinner for now.... god, it's 10 to midnight =.=




anwa said...

Aw, good luck! I hope that things work out better for you.

gglush said...

Thanks Anwa!
The support means a lot to me =)

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